Whalers CC Vs Blake Hall CC

Match Report

Opposition: Blake Hall CC
Venue: Ilford
Date: 11th May 2002

The less said about Whalers second match of the 2002 season the better. With three quarters of the team still over the legal limit well into the afternoon and a pitch resembling a plough hillside, Whalers crashed to an all too quick demise. After a delightful journey through the East End of London we found ourselves with a changing room where the emissions from Nelson’s arse was preferable to the stench from the toilet.

After winning the toss and electing to bat, we stormed to an impressive 3 before the loss of the first wicket, quickly followed by the second. An inebriated Ian Gibbons, who had yet to utter his first words of the day, shambled to the crease in regulation hiking boots. An impressive 10 over stand of 28 with Will ensued and, with a small amount of flamboyance and a large slice of fence building the score soared to 31. Three quick wickets followed leaving Andy Nelson at the helm of a wayward ship. His controlling innings of 19 was littered with shots of genuine class which was harshly derided by the watching spectators. Never before have ignorance been shown by the viewing public and his untimely demise only came when he attempted to loop the ball into the bowlers pocket. The remaining three wickets fell for 2 runs with little resistance to leave Whalers with a mighty total of 75 to defend and 11 overs to bowl before tea.

Some tight bowling by Mildon and Osgood before tea and by Kirkness and Osbourn after kept the run rate down but with 22 extras conceded the opposition had little trouble in knocking off the remaining runs in quick time. This sporting behaviour allowed for an excellent game of five/six a side footy to help pass the remainder of the afternoon with a slim victory for the lower half of the order!

Match Highlight: The onion bhaji’s
Match Lowlight: Everything else
Comedy Moment: Take your pick, they were too numerous to mention
Man of the Match: Anyone who wasn’t present

 

Duncan Osbourne

 

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