Whalers Cricket Tour: Gloucestershire 2006

For the second year in succession, the Whalers (summer) tour eschewed the attractions of a small island dependency and headed for the West Country. Last year it was Devon, this year, it was God’s own county: Gloucestershire.

Whalers vs Shipton Oliffe; Whalers win by 58 runs (Osbourne 103*, Dickension 35, Gould 6-1-20-2, Mildon 6-0-39-2)

The requirement to watch that overpaid bunch of fops, the England football team, meant that an unusually early start was in order and we had set ourselves the ambitious target of meeting in Shipton Oliffe, a small village 6 miles outside Cheltenham, by 10:30. This proved to be quite beyond the ability of most of the team and a succession of traffic jams and motoring worries meant the team arrived at various times between 10:30 and 11:45. With the start time shifted back by half an hour to 11:30 and the overs slashed to a mere thirty, the team was still only seven in number when they went out to bat. What was of particular concern was that 4 of the intended top 7 had not arrived.

But the Whalers are nothing if not flexible when it comes to batting line ups and with Oz and Al in attendance, they set out to post a formidable total. The weather was glorious and it looked ideal batting conditions. The oppo – who had previously been described to the tour manager as ‘absolute crap’ – turned out to consist of identikit teenagers with bleach blonde hair together with a handful of accompanying seniors.

The bowling was perfectly manageable and although there were a few nasty moments – included one where Oz played the ball with his cheek rather than bat – the opening pair got off to a strong start. Putting away the bad balls and strolling the odd single, Oz and Al coasted along until Al missed a straight one and was out for 35. By this time, though, the momentum was well and truly with Whalers and Oz kept the run rate firing along despite a succession of wickets at the other end. Ed, Dario, Toby and Gibbo all perished in single figures but this did not prevent, Oz racking up his second ton of the season. He was duly retired on reaching the milestone which left Ads and Ollie to swing the willow for the final few overs. Some effective, if not exactly text book, blows brought the score up to 219 for 5 at the end of the 30 overs. At a run rate of over 7 an over, we felt pretty confident that we could defend it.

After a quick lunch, we went out to secure victory. A tight opening spell put good pressure on the batsmen who found it hard to get the ball away easily. Jimmy Gould struck first, removing their No 2. This brought an extremely handy 19 year old to the crease and he set about punishing any wayward – of which there was a lot – with consummate ease. Despite wickets falling often enough at the other end, the No 3 kept thrashing boundaries from a succession of really crap balls (mainly from Paul M whose usual dependency seemed to have completely deserted him). It even started to become apparent that our score was not the impregnable fortress we had assumed as Shipton kept up with the rate (assisted by our generous wides donation – 23 in total). However, with Gibbo taking the all important catch to dismiss the No 3 for 96, the Shipton batting line up fell away. And whilst they still managed to swat a few sixes, it was all in vain and they ended up well short of the target.

With the game over there was a mass exodus as everyone headed off to watch the England game. Many thanks to Shipton Oliffe for turning out a weekend side for us and for playing in such good spirit.

MoM: Paul Osbourne

Champagne: Paul Mildon’s direct hit for a run out

Muppet: Ed’s post drinks break, beamer strewn over

We arrived at our hotel just in the nick of time to see the England game get underway. We settled in the hotel bar which we had to ourselves. As everyone knows, it was a rubbish game and we lost on penalties. Enough said.

With England’s exit from the tournament complete it was time to go and get completely smashed as is traditional on tour and with the pints during the game oiling the wheels, we were already off to a good start. After a quick shower and freshen up, we headed off to the local pizza joint for a bite to eat. Towards the end of the meal, our guides for the evening – Al’s sister and her boyfriend turned up to show us where to go. We enjoyed a few drinks in various bars in the ‘classy’ area of Montpellier where we indulged the usual mixing and matching of spirits and mixers to keep us on our toes. The evening concluded in a dingy club and after the obligatory drinking games ended up with the team embarrassing themselves to various degrees on the dance floor.

Fortunately, the next morning was completely devoid of obligations and after a leisurely breakfast, the team (minus Ollie who headed off to see his folks) did nothing more strenuous that sit in the park and read the paper whilst enjoying the glorious Gloucestershire sun.

Whalers vs Charlton Kings and Whitefriars; Whalers win by 121 runs (Osbourne 54*, Dickenson 51*, VDP 41, Gibbo 39*, Terrell 4-0-28-2, Hanmer 5-0-26-2)

As it was already another absolute scorcher of a day when the team arrived at the Charlton Kings and Whitefriars ground on the edge of Cheltenham. The ground, which three of the team had enjoyed playing at in their youth, was noted for three things: its steep slope, its unfeasibly short boundary one side and its undulating outfield. But its beautiful location, flanked by the hills of the Cotswolds more than made up for these minor inadequacies.

The locals made themselves extremely popular by giving us the choice of whether to bat or field. We chose to bat. Obviously. The team line up had changed since the previous day with two frontline bowlers (James and Paul M) being replaced by two frontline batsmen (Stu and VDP). As a result we had only one frontline bowler in Dan O and a team of batmen and part-time trundlers. So it was vital to get a big score.

And that is exactly what we did. Oz and Stu got us off to a flier and we were without loss at the first drinks break. There were plenty of boundaries as anything loose was punished. The bowlers were mainly youngsters and they found it hard to keep the consistency required to prevent the runs from flowing. Stu was the first to go caught behind for 36 but if anyone was worried that the introduction of the Whalers’s very own Boycott – VDP – would slow the run rate, they were mistaken. VDP unleashed a series of fearsome cuts and drives to keep the rate flying along. Oz was retired on 50 soon after and with Al joining the ferocious VDP, the runs kept coming. VDP was eventually bowled for an excellent 41 and with Al retiring on 50 at the end of the same over, the Whalers had a new a pair in Ollie and Gibbo. The runs kept coming despite a hamstring injury to Gibbo (who eventually called for a runner) and a massive total was on the cards. Ollie fell to a wild swipe bringing Dario to join Gibbo to finish things off. We ended on 266-3 off 8 overs.

It would take a monumental performance from the home team to overturn the total but after the previous day’s events, it was not impossible – especially with that tiny boundary and our weakened bowling attack. Dan and Ed opened the bowling and after the first 5 overs the batsmen had yet to get the score into double figures and all looked good. However Dan decided they need some help in building the total and so obliged by bowling probably the largest number of wides in an over in Whalers history. It had seemed to have all gone wrong for Whalers top wicket taker and with such a weak bowling line up, it was something of a worry.

However, the skipper turned to Stu to produce something and this he did: he struck with his first ball as he took an excellent reflex catch to capture the first wicket. The home side’s succession of incoming youngsters never really looked like threatening the imposing total and with a further wicket from Stu plus a couple more from Ads – including an excellent diving effort from VDP, the game was looking very safe. The paucity of bowlers meant that Messrs Osbourne and Bayne bowled for the first time in 3 years and both enjoyed some success with tidy spells. Ollie even managed to double his Whalers wicket tally by getting a wicket.

When Dario was introduced, he responded with a double wicket maiden to help close in on victory. Further wickets from Dan and Ed finished the game to giving the Whalers their first ever Sunday tour victory - by a whopping 121 runs.

Again, many thanks to Charlton Kings and Whitefriars for hosting us and for playing in such good spirits. It was certainly a pleasure for three of the team to return to the ground they had played at as teenagers.

MoM: Team effort

Champagne: Will’s over the shoulder diving catch

Muppet: Dan’s wide strewn over

After a quick beer, it was off home. It was another fantastic tour, with resounding victories and awesome weather all capped off by the beautiful location. Not that I am biased. Where to next year?